Dear April Advice Column #1: How do I start my path to self-love?

Sept. 8, 2023 | #1

Q: Dear April,
I read where it said, “If you start loving yourself you will start loving the world” How do I start?

A: Dear friend,

This is a wonderful question to explore because what we believe about ourselves directly impacts our success in life, business, relationships and our happiness.

While I’m not an expert on self-love, I have experienced a personal journey to wholeness and self-acceptance. (I’m still on this path.)

I had to learn to like myself for who I am and let go of who I think I should be or who other people want me to be in order to become whole and be more of my authentic self.

Every person on earth is at different stages on their path towards wholeness whether they are aware of this or not.

How does loving ourselves help us love other people?

When we practice seeing ourselves through the lens of compassion, acceptance and love, then how we see other people is through that same lens of compassion, acceptance and love. Why? Because what we turn our attention and focus on, we find.

Self-love and self-acceptance don’t mean we turn a blind eye to our mistakes and areas we need to improve. We simply become self-aware of all parts of ourselves, the good and the not so good so we can choose to make changes to be better not perfect.

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”  (John 13:34)

I believe love is a strong core foundation for a better world, starting with us. It’s not easy at times to love certain people or even love and accept ourselves. Self-love and loving others is a spiritual practice not a destination.

You asked, “How do I start?”

I believe when we like who we are, loving ourselves and others comes more naturally.

Start by discovering who you’ve been and who you want to BE.

Loving yourself and accepting ourselves is a choice.

Below is a journaling exercise that I did to help me become wholeness and learning to love and accept myself:  

First, we have to believe we are good enough/worthy. From my perspective, I had to believe the truth of who God says I am and not believe the lies the enemy planted in my thoughts. These books helped me: “I thought it was just me” and “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown

My journaling exercises. Answer these questions. (Dr. Myles Munroe has 5 great questions to answer yourself on Youtube)

  1. Who am I? This is about your true IDENTITY. (This book helped me get grounded in my identity “The supernatural ways of Royalty: Discovering your rights and privileges of being a son or daughter of God” by Kris Vallotton and Bill Johnson
  • What are my top 5-7 values? Write them down.
  • What areas do I need to improve or change?
  • Is there a part of my old self that no longer serves me that I am choosing to let go of today?
  • What part of my new self do I want to become? Who do you want to BE in this next chapter of your life?  
  • What is my special contribution to the world? This is your unique gifts, talents and skills. “Most people will go to their grave and never achieve more than 10% of their potential.”, says Myles Munroe.  
  • Where am I going?   

When we like who we are, loving ourselves and others comes more naturally.

As always, I encourage you to go to God in pray and the world to seek confirmation on any advice you receive. If anything I’ve shared today resonates, receive it. If anything I’ve shared doesn’t resonate, simply let it go.

Please know you are loveable just as you are now.

I love you my friend.

April

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